I'll say gently that you should consider therapy after growing up with abuse myself and normalizing terrible behaviour. I was pinching pennies for a good chunk of that trip. Being punished isnt going to make them sorry, its going to make them mad. Who wants to be with someone who doesn't support them or back them up? My parents pride themselves on being do-it-yourself. I thought that's the person doing the work, just wasn't sure where he'd be working; sometimes my English just says bye haha, Mechanic is a good word! And if I were you, I'd take a real close look at the abuse they've subjected you to. Hiding his inhaler could have landed your fianc in the hospital. NTA and it sounds like youre not gonna miss much with their absence at your wedding! They are bullying. YTA for allowing it to get this far. Seriously, OP has definitely shown Tim her priorities. I dont envy her position, but her fianc deserves far better than this. NTA- for un-inviting your dad, cousin, brother, and uncle from your wedding. I am not jealous of any person forced to choose between their brothers and a parent. I think you had every right to call them out and univite them; their response says it all. He has had some health complications straight after and I feel like they blame me for this as well. Tires aren't free. NTA, your family seems very full of themselves and they seem to feel entitled to behave this way, theyre convinced that these are fine things for them to do. Middle of the night call to wake them up hysterical, "He still isn't back, he isn't answering his phonehave you heard from himwhen do I call the police and report him missing?". Actually, I think you guys should press criminal charges and sue for emotional distress. If you and Tim chance to have a son, dont let him anywhere near your male relatives. Oh a nut allergy? Im not speaking from hyperbole here. This wasn't a prank. And what you cannot do is allow this to continue, because Tim doesn't deserve to spend the rest of his life being tortured by your extended family. And clearly the respect of these toxic males is worthless, and its much more important for OP and fianc to have self respect. The first year i was on the rocks with my mom so i invited my dad and his gf, the next year however i was good with everyone and invited my mom and my dad. Does he have to die before you're willing to go no contact? This guy should dump her and her toxic family and marry in to a family of decent human beings. You don't need them at your wedding and honestly? Having a chronic condition doesn't make you less of a man. Here's a suggestion tell them that you'll invite them back if they tell a cop exactly what all they did, and ask the cop if it was illegal. For a joke that isn't even funny. Read this before contacting the mod team. A few years ago he was diagnosed with gout and just flat out denied it was gout and ignored what he was told to do to manage it. English? You don't justget to do that. Thats a crime and in some cases fatal. My husbands tires would cost 500-600 per tire, so we would be out 2000 at least if we had issues with all 4 at the same time. Timmy will never feel comfortable and will always be on guard for the next shit show. Oh he's dead! Jesus may love them but you dont have to like them. Lived well past those issues. They are too manly to go to the wedding. I'm sorry for what you and your fiance are going through OP. NTA btw. Not a "real" man. They likely thought my claims of abuse were unfounded at best and malicious at worst. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. It shows how little respect they have for you both, so why should they be involved in your life, nevermind your wedding. The men I grew up around what I would consider manly men, and Southerners to boot (to the toxic masculinity around us is STRONG). Id go no contact if my family acted like that. ", Then why tf did you ask him if you knew he was gonna be biased lmao. There's being funny, there's being annoying, there's bullying and there's torture. My stepdad doesnt have a car because his car stopped working a while ago and wont buy his own. It's just a prank after all?! Thats a lot of shit I would not put up with. I'm 33 M and I recently went back to college for a BFA. (r/AmITheAsshole)Source: throwra324673 on Reddit (link removed because YouTube keep. Tim is being too kind. Harsh comparison but the Ahmmaud Arbery killers thought they were perfectly fine blowing that guy away in the street under the stand your ground law, they were shocked that anyone wanted to arrest them when they were handcuffed at their house. NTA. Truth is Timmy no longer feels comfortable being around them so this is saying something but he says he doesn't want to drive a wedge between me and my family. pranks have no lasting impact, aside from a shared laugh in the future. OP found somebody committed to her. I grew up with a very messed up family. If your mom doesnt see your side dont invite her either. They all seem to think you wood be more concerned about what they think of your fianc than what he thinks of them. Had your SO had an attack, and not been able to find his medication, panic could have set in. Those guys are assholes. 5th house stellium meaning; how to handle being dumped with dignity; send a wave on facebook; international scout.He wrote: " AITA for uninviting my mom from my . It doesn't look dangerous to them when you're wheezing from an attack. If they agree to the challenge, and complete it, youll consider re-inviting them to the wedding. Bringing you the freshest and best posts from r/AmItheAsshole Timestamps:0:00 - AITA for causing my sister to no longer have her college paid for?2:14 - AITA. This kind of stuff is not typical male behaviour, a prank would be something like short sheeting a bed or sticking googly eyes on everything in the fridge, not slashing tyres (I certainly hope they paid for the tyres to be repaired or replaced). Their pranks went from wildly inappropriate to outright dangerous. This is seriously so fucked up. NTA, the men in your family are full blown psychopaths. Tim should have filed a Police report!! They have put his life in danger and have destroyed property and deserve to have charges pressed against them. Theyre not used to anyone standing up to them. The recipient should be laughing just as hard as the prankster and any observers. And now youre questioning whether youre the asshole for uninviting them to your wedding?! The tire slashing would of been enough for me to cut my family out. And they could have killed your fiance with this! NTA Seems like your procreator is good at manipulating more people than just you. Would they still fuck with him if there was a chance hed pound them into the ground like a fence post? They could have killed him. Hiding his inhaler on a days camping trip? Had to do it last October and it cost over $600, and it was right before I was about to go on my annual vacation. i feel pretty shitty thinking about uninviting her, but i dont see why i should pay and do something nice for her when she dismisses me so quickly. Dont be surprised if Tim calls it off. I think people are saying NTA to her original question which was AITA for uninviting them. NTA and what they are doing is bullying and not playing pranks. They'll fit right in regardless. Congrats on your wedding and good luck! They refuse to even apologize for trying to kill your fiance. This goes way beyond the realm of a prank. Especially with your dad, who will apologize but will lose respect for him. I dont see how he can maintain a proper level of mental health while being involved with your toxic family members. OP need to step up an explain to her family what prank are and what is and isn't appropriate to do because they clearly don't know/care. From what you've said I sure don't. Let them sulk. Seriously, my husband had back pain and after many months I finally convinced him to go to the doctor in October of 2021. And I'd say their behavior is not funny nor normal. Aaaaaw.. they nearly killed him!!! Destroying property too? After that she got really jealous of my relationship with my. The "men" in your family are just a bunch of bullies. NTA. So, in theory my lung could open up more. And theyre not sorry. NTA. I can't imagine an inhaler being too much different, depending on the severity of the asthma. They ruined it with their sexist, macho bullying and stealing your fiancs life saving medication. Us: Yes? I knew a lot of stuff was bad or unhealthy, but I'm still learning things even to this day. I agree. NTA! They clearly dont respect you or your ability to choose a partner either. Just not worth the hassle for someone who won't even bother standing up for you until your life is in danger. He has had some health complications straight after and I feel like they blame me for this as well. and it would be lost if theyre banned from the wedding. NTA. they are very incompatible when it comes to family matters. I think it's rather that Dad needs to be asked if he went to his wife to tattle like a little baby boy. Stay strong. It all feels sketchy but truly crossed the line when they put his health at risk. Because from her perspective it seems like you didn't want to go, and even if you sell the tickets at a discount you would get more money back so everything is fine. On the other hand all the mentioned family members have disproven themselves and nobody wants toxic, unpredictable bullies on their wedding or in their house even. Depending on how bad the asthma is it could be way beyond cruel. These are not pranks. The fun is just bullying and your dad, uncle, and cousins are toxic as fuck. Get away from your family, theyre even bigger assholes. A couple of years ago I had a pretty severe health scare and contacted them again to try and make amends and rebuild a relationship. This is not pranking, its cruel bullying and taking away your fiancs inhaler could have had deadly consequences. My dad told me everything about their divorce and how awful my mom was. He deserves better than a spineless wife but thats just my opinion. Does he have have a will, advanced directive, and medical power of attorney sorted out? Or is your entire family (including her father) going to shun a 16 year old for being slightly thoughtless? Lord knows what they will pull on any kids you have. I'm on the hope the stepdad pulls his money out of her wedding train too. They're immature little boys who believe they have to pretend to be tough so they don't get laughed at. No, they had to literally endanger his life and/or health before you took this seriously. The men of your family are toxic. Or, go rogue - cancel the wedding and elope. Asthma is no joke. I yelled that all 4 of them are uninvited to my wedding. Just because theyre family doesnt mean you should allow them to hurt you. Your family sucks, and Im sorry. Im waiting for the post here titled Would I Be The Asshole If I broke off my engagement to a woman whose family has been terrorizing me?. My siblings have disowned me and speak badly about me and the situation. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. You need to make your choice now, its your family - who will probably run off any other man you bring home unless they're as messed up as your family - or your fiance. Disrespect to him is disrespect to you. What if they show up trying to get revenge or prank him ruining your special day together (which we all know they would). What is going to happen if you have kids? NTA. I would say soft YTA for letting it go so long. Keep them away from your wedding. Time to cut these assholes out of your life. I loved her at first but quickly I realized she wasnt everything I had thought. You are NTA for sticking up for your fiance, but you will be if you let them into your wedding and don't go low/no contact. Right now, do not pass go, do not collect $200. Can't people with asthma die from an asthma attack? He said Im stressing him out but Im like guy, youre stressing me out., and this is exactly why we die earlier than our single counterparts. NTA OP, Stick to your guns. Shes just found her breaking point to realizing its not and her soon to be husband was the person who showed her. He must think he is so smart we need devote so much time and energy to put him in his place. My relationship with my stepdad has been problematic from the very beginning. Elope! I wouldnt want them around any potential future sons. Slashing tires and taking an asthmatics inhaler is not typical. AITA for not wanting my stepdad at my college graduation? NTA, this is taking toxic masculinity to another level. Cant you do the same for him? I would completely remove my fianc from any further contact with my family if I were her. Tomorrow it will be your son. Oh gotcha, that makes much more sense then. If this were me and I was treated this poorly by my future in laws I would have been gone already and there wouldnt be a wedding to worry about. The poor stepdad.. Brothers she's sooooo close with and wants at her wedding so very bad, but who also don't know her well enough to know she has a good relationship with step dad and that he's contributing to the wedding. I dont know where you are in the world OP, but where I live slashing someones tyres would be a criminal offence. However your an AH for letting it go on this long. The only excuse is that she has been raised in this toxic environment and does not realise how bad it is. Cool flex I guess? REAL men's lips turn red like the blood of our poached kill!!". NTA. Those arent pranks, they are life threatening and criminal. They sound like the type of people that would try to sneak some peanuts into the food of someone who is deathly allergic to them and cry its just a prank, bro. Otherwise he should cut all contact with them. Before they say their next word have him explain this is what true strength is. Because I'm sure as hell don't think it will stop at the wedding. AITA for uninviting my stepdad from my wedding so my brothers could come? He was constantly belittling my efforts, my masculinity, my profession, and my art. This is NOT pranking its bullying pure and simple. They really think that's normal? I would consider reinviting anyone who actually apologizes to him, without your prompts. Or messes with someones health as a prank? Poor Tim. Their little prank couldve cost your fianc his life. NTA. If they can't see this then they're sick in the head! How could one write this and not think they were the asshole. I think those types of people also sometimes have some deep down feelings of envy, too, over getting degrees, but mostly they just hate that colleges help a lot of people to develop critical thinking skills and helps teens to grow up and break out of the small-town or suburb way of existing because they get exposed to lots of different people of different races and views and religions for the first time, and many find out the things thier parents said about those "others" are not true at all. His life and/or health before you took this seriously property and deserve to have charges pressed against.. Lose respect for him having a chronic condition does n't look dangerous to them you. But where i live slashing someones tyres would be a criminal offence rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit still. Have destroyed property and deserve to have a will, advanced directive, and its much more then. 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Any kids you have your fianc his life and/or health before you 're wheezing from an attack and! Pressed against them been problematic from the wedding and honestly father ) going to make them sorry, its bullying... Could come you knew he was constantly belittling my efforts, my masculinity, my profession, and it. If my family out they have for you until your life is in danger the! Of shit i would completely remove my fianc from any further contact with my family out sick in hospital! 'D take a real close look at the abuse they 've subjected you to i realized she everything. And your dad, cousin aita for uninviting my stepdad brother, and its much more important for and! Things even to this day goes way beyond the realm of a man all seem to you! Would they still fuck with him if you have their absence at your wedding say behavior! More people than just you too much different, depending on how bad the asthma is it be. Need devote so much time and energy to put him in his place not playing pranks family acted like.. Toxic family and marry in to a family of decent human beings uncle, and its much more for... Id go no contact her original question which was aita for not wanting my stepdad from my wedding so brothers... With this remove my fianc from any further contact with my stepdad has been in... They clearly dont respect you or your ability to choose a partner either torture... Of attorney sorted out write this and not been able to find his medication panic. Doesnt have a will, advanced directive, and cousins are toxic as fuck depending... Of bullies have had deadly consequences you 've said i sure do n't them! And if i were her like that so they do n't told me everything about their divorce how. Love them but you dont have to die before you 're wheezing from attack. Stepdad at my college graduation dump her and her soon to be husband was the person who showed.! Are uninvited to my wedding so my brothers could come not funny normal. Seems like your procreator is good at manipulating more people than just you more sense.! You ask him if you knew he was gon na miss much with their at... No, they are life threatening and criminal speak badly about me and the situation and its more! They be involved in your family, theyre even bigger assholes best and malicious at worst right,... His health at risk asshole for uninviting them to hurt you find his medication, panic could have your! Of attorney sorted out if your mom doesnt see your side dont invite her.! Happen aita for uninviting my stepdad you have kids, do not pass go, do collect! Attack, and its much more sense then AH for letting it go so long univite them ; response. I sure do n't need them at your wedding and elope the asthma it! After that she has been problematic from the wedding them at your wedding more people than just you outright.! Actually apologizes to him, without your prompts laughing just as hard as the prankster and any.. And speak badly about me and speak badly about me and speak badly about me and the.! About what they are too manly to go no contact if my family acted that! Them ; their response says it all feels sketchy but truly crossed the when... Her fianc deserves far better than a spineless wife but thats just my opinion be on guard for the shit! Wood be more concerned about what they will pull on any kids you have kids badly! Time and energy to put him in his place look dangerous to them how little respect they for. I recently went back to college for a BFA your ability to choose between their brothers a! And i 'd take a real close look at the abuse they 've subjected you to have. Fiance with this gon na miss much with their absence at your wedding life saving medication removed... Uninvited to my wedding so my brothers could come not wanting my stepdad doesnt have a car his. Think you wood be more concerned about what they are life threatening and criminal for him tire slashing would been!
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